Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Mood: Fucked up to the fucking days
Msn: Bao To
Music: Boyz II Men - End Of The Road
"Hey, I love you anyway and I'm still gonna be here for you till my dying day."
"I'm not supposed to love you, I'm not supposed to care, I'm not supposed to live my life wishing you were there." This quote really got to me today, yeah well its obvious that I'm not feeling alright because only when I'm feeling down that I read these dumb quotes. Hmm, guess this will be another subjective entry thats going to be all about quotes again so here we go. "Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew." I couldn't agree with this quote any better, nicely said. "Never give up, if you still want to try. Never wipe your tears, if you still want to cry. Never settle for an answer, if you still want to know. Never say you don't love him, if you can't let him go." HAHA like some commercial said, when things rhyme, they must be true right? Fuck, I hate these random urges. Its always on and off. People are so dumb I swear, do I really look that dumb to you? Do you really think I can't see for myself with my own eyes? Yeah I may be blind but haven't you heard of the quote "Love can be seen by the blind and be heard by the deaf."? I don't want to be wasting a lifetime on this shit, nothing is worth this much of my time anymore. Nothing is bad until you think it is, well I think of this whole situation as something very bad, thats why I'm feeling so shit about it. I really do hope that you're happy to have scarred me for life, yeah I'm seriously scarred for life. S-C-A-R-R-E-D, scarred, scarred for life. Well hey, I'm not trying to point out anything specific really. You know what I'm saying? Ney mm juong yi yun dey gau ney gor noi pun yao darn hai ney hoi gau yun dey gor noi pun yao. What a hypocrite. This is getting more fucking ridiculous by the seconds, fucking pissing the shits out of me. The little acts and everything, fucking ridiculous. There is no other word that could describe it. RIDICULOUS I SHALL SAY. I don't fucking care if this has noting to do with me. Everyone knows it, you fucking know it, we all do so fucking hell. This is so fucking full of shit, do you even realize how many people are hurting? Yeah, I talk about it, they talk about it, we all fucking talk about it, its not surprising anymore. Don't act like its nothing coz no shit its so obvious its something. The more I think about it, the more it gives me that fucked up sinking feeling. I really hate it how when you're really hurting inside and you can feel your heart sinking to the ground. Well fuck this okaye? Fucking whatever, I surrender, I really don't want to see anymore of this but I know there will only be more, its sickening just to even imagine it right now. "She wants to prove she has no fears so she stands up tall wiping her tears. This could be the most beautiful mistake because now shes like everyone else, lonely and fake." Never would I of thought of things that way.. Wow, really opened my mind to things.. You know what sucks? Having like all the different types of problems in the world bundle up all at once. Family problems, money problems, education problems and so on. How come they can't hit you one by one? Going full on all at once is fucking stressful as. I'm so sick of complaining about it all because it really doesn't help at all but if I don't complain about it, thats just leading myself into denial with it. At the end of the day, none of this really matters I guess. These thoughts are only temporary. For sure they will appear every now and then but yeah, what can I do about it? HAHAH its funny how I feel so completely different now compared to how I felt at the beginning of this entry. I was feeling angry, frustrated, gloomy, despondent and all that but now I'm feeling much better, pretty much opposite of all those adjectives. So You Think You Can Dance is on at the moment and holy shit the girls jazz routine was amazing. Oh my god, Don. HAHAH I want him to win because he's asian. Okaye well yeah, enough said for the day. The End. (L)
It's 5:31 PM
